Thursday, July 10, 2008

There'll be sad songs (to make you cry)

I've totally over-scheduled my kids for the summer and I'm regretting it big-time. I have this mentality of throwing my kids into a little bit of everything until they find their heart's bliss. The heart's bliss thing hasn't happened yet.
Unlike myself, my daughter is an introvert. She never complains about camp and willingly goes, but is a total demon when she comes home. It just exhausts her to be with people all day. I think it may exhaust me to be with a bunch of giggling 8 year old girls, even if I were 8.

Daisy likes art, and animals, swimming, and make-believe. She is the type of kid who will play for hours on end in her room making up little scenarios and writing in her notebook. I realized today that being in a big group with endless twittering chatterbugs just zaps her. Next summer, three camps maximum.

I think maybe we'll take separate vacation time so the kids have more chill time and not have to be farmed out so much. The way things are going for Dre and I , it seems like a sweet relief to me to spend time alone with the kids. I had a terribly crappy day which I intermittently spent in tears. It's partly (a lot) hormonal. I even called my dad and cried and now I feel so badly for laying stuff on him. My mom was at work and for some reason I opened up to him. He still has to worry about all his adult kids and he's dealing with his own mother's decline as well.

I hate burdening people. I keep most things to myself. Interesting how we spend a large part of our lives hiding the more unpleasant details of our lives from the ones we love so they don't worry about us. They do the same for me. In my family we tend to bear our burdens alone and silently. That's the way I like it. I don't like to appear vulnerable. Ok, I don't know where this all came from. But there it is.


3 comments:

LceeL said...

There's a lot of families like that. In a way, that's too bad. Sometimes help is just that close and yet the help will go unlooked for and in the end, sometimes bad things happen. And then people are left saying "Why didn't anybody SAY anything?". People will ask "Why didn't you tell us?" I tell my sons all the time - ALL THE TIME - "I'm your Dad. There isn't anybody in the whole world who cares about you and what happens to you more than I do." That's the way Dads are.

Eve Grey said...

That's awesome Lou. I know my parents would want me to tell them stuff too but I just know it hurts them so much (not that they say that) so as I've gotten older especially I keep more things to myself.

Jill said...

I too find that when I'm utterly sad or out of sorts that I turn to my dad. He listens, always tries to solve my problems, in turn I get irritated that he just didn't listen and let me vent, and then I hang up.

It's cyclical... yet I always go back to venting every single time.

I hope that during your "free time" w/o the kids that you get some "you" time...